The Real Story
by abhor
Summary: The Twilight Princess redone. Link is stuck on a quest that he wishes he wasn't on, with demon children, and evil he doesn't want to battle. The story is being retold the way it was meant to be. This is what REALLY happened.
1. Link

_Hello, what up! This is my first fic. I hope you like it! ;P_

_It's about 'The Legend Of Zelda Twilight Princess' game. It covers the whole game (i will try and update as fast as i can) and what really was said and done. Link actually talks. Gasp! Ok let's get on with the show!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything!! NOTHING I TELL YOU!! I'm a poor girl from Texas_

**Chapter One: The Story Begins**

Link and Rusl calmly sit staring at the spring after a hard day of getting wood. Rusl breaks the silence, "Tell me… do you ever feel a strange sadness as dusk falls?"

Link stared out at the spring not caring at all what Rusl said.

Rusl continued "They say it's the only time when our would intersects with theirs…the only time we can feel the lingering regrets of spirits who have left our world."

Link still stared out at the spring only this time he though something, 'What the hell is Rusl talking about?'

Rusl glances at Link "That is why loneliness always pervades the hour of twilight" there was a long silence again. "But enough talk of sadness… I have a favor to ask you Link." Link looked up at the sound of his name. "I was supposed to deliver something to the royal family of Hyrule the day after tomorrow…"

Link still stared at Rusl with a fake smile plastered on his face. He was thinking only one thing! 'That lazy son of….'

Rusl continued on as if Link had said something.

"Yes. It was a task set to me by the mayor but… would you go in my stead?"

Link stared back at the spring. 'He's trying to put his job off on me!'

"You have never been to Hyrule right?" Rusl asked.

Link again didn't get a chance to reply, and Rusl went on anyway "In the kingdom of Hyrule there is a great castle, and around it is Castle Town, a community far bigger than our little village.

And far bigger than Hyrule is the rest of the world the gods created. You should look upon it all with your own eyes." Rusl stood up. Link gave up on talking, seeing how it didn't matter anyway.

Link noticed Rusl get up some time later after their little talk. He just could not believe what just transpired. 'This guy is something else. I didn't even have to say anything and yet we had a whole conversation.'

"It is getting late… we should head back to the village. I will talk to the mayor about this matter." Rusl began to walk away.

XXxxXXxx

Some time later Link is back at his tree house about to bite in to the most delicious sandwich he had ever made but was interrupted by Fado. "Hey! Link! You there?" Link was tempted to yell back a big fat 'no' but resisted the urge and came to the window.

"Hey, you mind helpin' me herd the goats?" Fado asked "They ain't listenin' to me lately!"

Link sighed "Sure!" he backed way from the window and looked longingly at his sandwich.

Link was half-way down a ladder when he heard Fado yell "Hey where's Epona?"

Link walked over to the empty space where Epona should have been. He gave another big sigh. Life was just not fair to him.

"C'mon now. Hurry on up an' bring Epona with you." With that Fado left for the farm.

Link looked at Ordon Forest and shook his head. He walked in the forest in search for his horse.

His search brought him to the Ordon spring. He saw Epona and someone standing in the spring. He went in to investigate.

It was Ilia who stole his horse. She was petting Epona's and realized Link was there. "Oh. Hi Link." She looked at the horse and then back at Link. "I washed Epona for you!"

"Er, thanks" Link walked closer and was about to grab Epona's reins when Ilia spoke up and asked, "Could you play that song Epona likes?"

"Sure" Link turned around and grabbed a funny looking piece of grass and put it to his lips and blew.

Link finally made it to the Ordon ranch. He was at the front gate and saw Fado. He rode over.

"Sorry to get you over here in such a hurry link" Fado said. "These guys have been awful skittish lately. They won't listen to a word I say. How's about you an' Epona herd 'em into the barn real quick?"

"Yeah, yeah. I got it" Link glared at the goats. 'Damn goats! I'm hungry and I want my sandwich!'

Link started herding the goats in the barn. He was 'heya' ing… (That's what is sounds like to me) and 'heya'ing… most of the goats ran for the barn, but two stubborn goats didn't head for the barn. They ran around the fenced in area. Link wasn't happy. There was one thing is his mind and that was 'SANDWICH!'. After practically running Epona straight at them the goats made it to the barn with the others.

When Link was done Fado walked over to him "Link, Epona… Much obliged to the both of y'all! I can cover everythin' tomorrow without havin' to trouble you. So just sit back an' relax bud."

Link started pulling on epona's reins but Fado asked " Oh… But, uh, how 'bout today? Wanna practice with the fences?"

Link was about to say no but Fado cut him off "Just wait a spell, bud. I'll get them fences set up" and with that, Fado left.

"no! wait I don't… whatever" link waited for his friend to return.

XXXxxxxXXX

"Hey, wake up, Link! Its morning already!"

Link slowly rose out of bed at the sound of a kid's voice. 'I thought I could sleep in!' He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and left his tree house to meet the kids.

"Oh Link! Didja hear?" Talo yelled. The child wore a bandana on his head lopsidedly, a white tunic with a yellow sash, and a blue skirt looking thing. A very immature kid. "They're selling a slingshot at the store right now! A SLINGSHOT!"

Talo's younger brother, Malo, cut in, " I wonder how powerful it is… I… I need… I must try it…" Malo is a five-year old who thinks he is an adult. (… I can't describe what he's wearing… its to hard! Tear)

"Talo, if you and Malo want it so badly, just buy it at my parents' shop!", Beth stated frankly. She is older than the older two and has a real attitude problem.

Talo turned and looked at her, "do you see any Rupees in my hand? I can't afford that thing!" then he put on a pout "C'mon, Beth, can't you just loan it to us for a while?

Link just stood in place listening to the children fret over a slingshot. Its not like he had anything to do anyway. 'I think I want a sandwich…'

Beth put her hands on her hips and leaned forward so she could directly yell in Talo's face. "You know I'd get in trouble for that! If you two want it, save

up your allowances or something."

Link heard Malo mumble "But our allowances are terrible… Aww, I wish I was born into a family with a slingshot instead of one with a waterwheel…"

After that Link was a little interested in the slingshot. It would be fun to hit things with it. He decided he was going to go see how much it was, but first he had to check on Colin. The poor kid was a natural born outcast. Luckily for Link the kid was only a few feet away, petting Epona.

"Hey Colin"

The boy stood still and slowly looked up at Link. "Hi, Link… You have the day off work today, right?" the boy timidly said.

Link nodded

"So… I finished the fishing rod I was making. Link, I figured I'd give it to your first thing in the morning, but… My dad said, "You just wait until Link comes to get it!" so I didn't bring it to you…" the kid left it a that. He then just stared at link for a few seconds.

"That's fine. I have to go... Bye" Link slowly turned and walked away. that kid is a freak.

Link went to the village to check out the slingshot at 'Sera's Sundries one-stop shopping'. Link walked in the store to find a very depressed looking Sera. She was leaning on the counter staring at a bottle of milk. Link walked up to her, "Uh…"

"Ohhhh…" the old woman sighed

"Um… I'm here for the-" Link started.

"Awww… oh, my… It's young Link… Welcome, m'dear." the woman spoke out slowly "You… You didn't happen to see my little cat out there, did you?"

"Uh no, I just want to know how much the-" Link was cut off again.

"He ate the fish we were going to have for supper last night, and I gave him a good scolding… but then he went out and hasn't returned…"

"I want to buy-" Link was cut off for the third time.

"I'm so fraught with worry for him… I've exhausted myself…"

Link looked at the distraught woman and left the shop. If he wanted that slingshot he was going to have to get that stupid cat. Link searched all over the Village and found the cat at the creek, behind Malo and Talo's house. He went to pick up the cat but he would just run away. Link glared at the cat, trying to mentally willed it to come to him… it didn't work. He would need something to lure the cat, but what… A FISH! A fish would work. But Link couldn't fish with his hands. Link had something nagging in the back of his mind. Colin's face kept popping up. What did that kid say? He made a fishing rod!… all he had to do now was find Rusl, get the rod, lure the cat, and get a slingshot! The plan was pure genius!

Link went looking around but all he could find was Rusl's wife, Uli.

"Good morning!" Link said as he walked up to Uli.

"Oh, um, good morning to you." Uli said. "If your are looking for my husband, he took his sword and left early this morning"

"Oh, ok" link turned to walk away but stop as he heard Uli's voice.

"But I must ask, Link, you haven't seen a cradle come floating by here, have you? It is a baby's cradle made of finely woven tree bark."

"No, I'm sorry I haven't" Link said sadly

"Oh, such a misfortune. How far could it have drifted, I wonder…"

Link left to go rethink his plan.

Link walked by a big pillar of rock. " Yo, Link Yo! Up here! I wanna talk to you!"  
Link looked up. "Hello!?"

"Hey, there your go! Over here! Yeah! Your voice carries well, as usual! So listen, why don't your climb up those vines there, Link?" the voice on top of the pillar turned out to be Jaggle.

Link looked at the vines and climbed to the top. "Hi" he said slothfully.

" Yo, there you are! Check this out." Jaggle pointed to the cat behind his house "You know Sear, at the general store? Well, isn't that her cat over there? He's just been sitting there next to my house, having a staring contest with the creek. You don't suppose he's thinking he's gonna catch a fish, do you? Ha ha ha! A cat can't catch no fish!"

"Cats can catch fish" Link said. 'I don't have time for this!'

"Anyway, that's not what I was meaning to tell your about, I want you to take a look at something…" Jaggle turned his head towards a another rock. "See that grass growing there on the edge of that rock? Haven't I seen you whistling with that stuff? I figured it was pretty rare to see it growing in a place like that, so I thought I'd let you know."

Link looked at the grass remembering all the fun he had. Like the time he got a hawk to attack Fado, and the other time he attack the kids with it. Great times…

Link jumped to the other rock and picked the strange plant. He put it to his lips and blew. a hawk came flying down and landed on links arm. Link looked around to see who or what would be his next victim. Now who would it be? Link spotted a beehive. And underneath the beehive was Hanch. Perfect. The bird launched off Link's arm and hit the beehive head on. The beehive shook and fell near Hanch, who soon realized the bee's were after him. Link almost fell into the creek laughing.

After Link calmed down, he gazed out at another rock and saw more of the 'hawk grass'. he hoped on Sera's shop roof and on to the other rocks, picked the grass and looked for his next target. He looked out and saw a monkey… with a cradle? Why would a monkey need a cradle? Wait! That was Uli's cradle. Link launched the bird off, the hawk swooped in and swiped the cradle from the monkey and brought it back to Link. Now all he had to do was get it to Uli. He hopped all the rocks and ran straight to the pregnant woman. Uli turned to Link as he ran up to her. " Oh! Link! That cradle! Did you go to the trouble of finding it for me? My thanks to you!"

Link smiled. "Aww, it was nothing!"

"Oh, that reminds me! There is something I'm supposed to give to you. Do you think you could carry that cradle and come with me back to my house?"

"Sure" Link followed Uli to her home.

"My thanks to you, link." the mother to be said as she reached her porch.

"Your welcome. So about that thing you where supposed to give me?" in the back of Link's mind he was hoping the thing she was supposed to give was that fishing rod.

"Yes, yes… I had nearly forgotten. I'm supposed to give you this" she gets a fishing rod from the porch and hands it to Link. "All right. Here you go!"

Link beamed at the rod. Finally! He could go get a slingshot!

"It is a little… unpolished. My son, Colin, made this under the instruction of his father. You can use it if you like." Uli said as she sat down on the porch.

"Thanks!" Link ran off to catch a fish.

Link was now in front of Sera's store. He didn't exactly lure the cat to the store. After he had caught a fish the cat stole it and ran back to the store. So maybe Sera wouldn't be too worried to sell him the slingshot. Link went in and heard Sera proclaim "Oh, my, Link! You simply MUST hear this!" the old crony looked to her cat, that was licking up some cream on the counter. "Just take a look! My little kitty came back! And he brought a fish back with him. He was worried about me being angry! Ohhhh, just look" the old woman stared at her cat with love in her eyes. "Isn't he so cute, the way he laps up that milk? Say, m'dear, why don't you have some, too! I'm in a good mood, so it's on the house today!" she handed Link the bottle of milk.

"Um, thanks" Link stuffed the bottle away and got down to business. "About that slingshot"

"The slingshot is 30 rupees. Do you want to buy it, m'dear?" Sera backed away from the counter and grabbed the slingshot.

"I'll buy it!" Link stated

Sera looked at Link oddly. "What are you doing buying a slingshot, you naughty thing? You're too old for toys! Will you at least let the kids play with it?"

"Yes, yes" Link paid her and left

As Link was walking to his house and saw Rusl.

"Ah, just in time, Link! I just delivered something to your room!"

"Oh ok" I need to lock my door. Link pulled out his new fishing rod. "Uh, thanks for this."

"Oh, I see you got the fishing rod. Colin will be pleased, and it works better than you would think, right?" Rusl said.

"Yeah it does" Link smiled.

"Well, have a good one" Rusl started walking to his home.

"You too!" Link turned and started to his own home.

Linked walked in his home and found a wooden sword. He gleamed at the piece of wood, thinking of all the things he could do with it. Beat children, or maybe some cucco. He put the wooden sword down on his table and headed for the kitchen.

"Time for lunch!"

XXXxxxXXXxxx

_Well, thats the first chapter. Hope you like it!Tell me what you think, and it I screwed up somewhere tell me so i can fix it!_


	2. The woods

_Well here is Chapter two. ENJOY!_

_xxXXxx_

Link came back out of his tree house with his new wooden sword. As soon as he put his booted foot down on the ground, poor Link was assaulted by demons acting like children.

"Link has a slingshot!" Talo was jumping up and down. Malo stared at Link.

Link froze in mid-step. 'oh crap'

Beth came running up "Wow! You has enough money to buy it Link?

"um I do have a job" Link stated as he casually tried to hide the slingshot.

Talo hopped around Link yelling excitedly. "Let's see how powerful that slingshot is!" the kid pointed behind Link at some targets. "Hit the targets AND those scarecrows!"

Beth came and pushed the excited boy out of the way and scolded the two brothers. "I can't believe you two brats are so obsessed about this." she placed her hands on her hip. "its just shows what little boys you both still are". the young girl suddenly turned to Link, clasping her hands together and had the biggest smile on her face. " These two idiots will never shut up about it, so I guess you'll just have to show them, Link"

Link whipped out the said slingshot and started and firing on the targets. The kids stared wide eyed and slack jawed.

"Gee, you really are amazing Link!" Talo started hopping around again.

"yeah, you are!" beth said "you can use swords and slingshots and everything!"

Talo picked up a random stick and started to swing it around. "hey, yeah, that reminds me, you've gotta teach us how to use a sword too!"

Link scratched his head "um I don't know about that"

Talo hit his fake sword on the ground. "seriously! Lately these monkeys have been coming out of the woods and playing tricks on us! We want to get them GOOD!"

"their just monkeys" Link said as he thought of the poor monkeys.

The boy waved his stick around radically "C'mon, teach us how to use a sword!

"… fine" and with that, Link went to town on the scarecrow that had the misfortune to be the closes to him.

"WHOA!" All three kids shouted.

"so this means that anytime one of those naughty monkeys shows up…" Talo looked passed Link saw one of the monkeys. "WHA?!"

The little monkey quickly turned and ran back in the woods.

"C'MERE YOU!" Talo ran right after the furry animal with the other two kids following behind.

"crap." Link walked up to his horse and climbed on. "stupid monkey" he mumbled. He and Epona went to the woods.

A little ways in, Link saw Beth stand close to a tree. He trots Epona on up to her and asks "where are the other two?"

"Talo and Malo went chasing like crazy people after that monkey. I can't keep up with those two." Beth waved her hand in her face to emphasize.

Link rolled his eyes and kept moving down the trail. The trail began to narrow a bit. Our young hero came upon the spring entrance where Malo was standing

"They went that way" the toddler pointed across the bridge. "the rest is up to you."

Poor Link wanted to go home to eat, that's all he wanted to do. He crossed the bridge and came to the Faren Woods. He walks up in the middle of the meadow and sees the gate that locks away the other part of the forest. Epona easily jumped the gate with ease. As soon as they jumped the old wooden gate, there was a small waterfall. The water trickled playfully. Link didn't have time to look at the beauty of the waterfall, so he turned away into a tunnel. It was dark and foreboding, and Link didn't want to go in. he remembered a time at the tender age of seven, when he went on a trip with Rusl.

"_now Link, you need to be careful when your herding goats" a slightly younger version of Rusl explained. _

_A young Link nodded his head, knowing the many dangers of being around animals that are about your height. Just last week, Ruslhad to savepoorlittle Link from drowning in a frenzy of goats. The damn animals crowded around our little hero when he was feeding them. The week before that, our little goat herder almost died in a stampede, but with the help of his fleeing skills he survived to live another day._

"_Link, to day we will be watching out for wolfs." Rusl said_

"_wolfs?!" little Link had never seen a wolf before._

"_yes, last week we had four of our goats missing" Rusl turned to Link. "and I want you to watch the herd."_

"_me? Alone…but the wolfs… don't you think that's a bad-"_

"_nonsense! A boy at your age should be able to handle the herd by now." Rusl patted Links head and walked off._

"_but wait!" Link yelled at his mentors retreating form. "I can't do this alone!"_

_Link herd a noise behind him. He slowly turns around and sees a huge goat. It had blood shot eyes and Link could have swore its left I was twitching like it was on crack. "nice goat" Link took a step back, realizing the animal was the same size as himself. "pretty goat". another step back. The animal suddenly leaped at Link, who rolled out of the way. He got on his feet as fast as he could. The crazed goat came at him again. "oh shit!" Link ran in to the near by forest for his life. as soon as he noticed that the goat from hell wasn't following him he slowed to a stop and looked around. _

_He was lost, oh so lost! And it was really dark. Like so dark that he couldn't see the tree in front of him… that he just walked right into. He would have tried to retraced his steps but he didn't want to move. He really never liked the dark. You never knew what was going to come out and try to eat you. Like that squirrel that you think is cute, but as soon as you get close it attacks your face and try's to eat your nose off._

_**GROWL**_

"…_please let that be a squirrel" Link slowly turned around. He blinked. Right in his face was a snarling wolf. He was frozen. He was going to die in the woods all because Rusl put his work off on him! Link dodged the wolf as it tried to eat his face. Our smart young hero climbed a tree and waited out the hungry wolf. Rusl didn't find Link until the next morning. The poor boy was shaking like a leaf._

Link shook off the memory of how Rusl screwed him over. Link being the sissy he is, ran Epona as fast as she could go through the small tunnel. He and his horse come hurrying out of the tunnel and almost ran into a fence. "Whoa!". He stopped his horse and got off. Our young adventurer saw a small house and decided to go check it out. As he got closer he saw a guy with puffy hair and what seemed to be a birds nest in his hair. Link walked up to the man and asked if he, by any chance, seen a kid and a monkey. He waited for an answer from the man but didn't get one, as it turns out, the guy was asleep. So Link tapped his arm.

The bird man woke with a start. "Whoa!" He looked up at Link. "An Ordonian!" Sitting up right the bird guy put on a big smile. "Hey, Guy! Listen i'm not sure you should be wondering around the woods with out a lantern."

"A lantern in the in the day time?" Link asked.

"Just because it's day light doesn't mean its safe. There are a ton of caves and dank spots around here that get pretty dark even in the middle of the day." The guy started looking around. "by the way, names Coro" Coro pulls out a lantern. "Here! Go on, guy. Take this!"

"Um thanks?" Link grabs the metal object and hangs it on his hip.

"See, I sell lantern oil here... I'm trying to drum up sales by giving away free lanterns! its a business tactic, guy! See, as long as you got oil to fuel your lantern you can light your way and set fire to stuff! They're the best!"

"Sure they are" Link turned away and walked back to his horse. He turned to the other cave he would have to go in to. Coming out of no where a giant weed snapped at him. Link dodged and cut off its head. "Stupid mother fucker!" He looks past the head and sees Talo's wanna-be sword. _oh crap. _

Link took a deep breath and ran in. Whipping out his lantern, he lit his way through the cave. "oh shit! oh shit! oh shit!" Dodging over grown weeds and very large rats. At one point he ran in to a spiders web, you might be thinking,'oh a little spider web', But the damn thing was huge! The web didn't get stuck on him, he got stuck on it! He was lucky that a man-eating spider didn't come out or he would have been screwed! When he burn his way out of the web from hell, a bat came and flew right in his face.

After what seemed like hours, Link found the end of the long as tunnel. "I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!" Sprinting to beautiful light, Link ignored the weed that tried to eat him and ran right over it. As soon as he got out side he was jumping for joy. The kid went nuts! And that created a lot of commotion. A ugly monster came towards him with intent to beat Link with a blunt object. Quickly pulling out his wooden sword he proceeded to beat the shit out of the ugly goblin. When he rendered the the thing unconscious he eyed the money bag on its belt. Whoo! Free money! It turns out the ugly goblin was packing some serious rupees. Pocketing the money he walked off in search of the little retard and a monkey.

Link came across two goblins and a locked gate. He heroiclly defeted his foes and then stole from them, heroiclly i might add. He looked at the gate trying to find a way in without having to do any work. Our lazy hero sighed as he realized he would have to find a key of some sort to get any farther. "Well damn..." He looked around in the grass to see if the key was around. It wasn't. He noticed a sign, it said 'Forest Temple Ahead'.

"Where is that damn key?"

It was hours later, when he found the key. He got jumped by a ugly goblin and a couple of bats. They tried to guard a chest, but it didn't turn out so well for them. Link made it back to the gate and unlocked the gate. He walked up a long stretch of forest and saw two goblin things. He beat and robbed them and went on his merry way. As he was walking he saw a small shop that was being operated by a bird. Why the Bird was the manager of a shop, poor Link would never know because he didn't have time to ponder about it he had to save Talo. Speaking of Talo. Isn't that him over there in a cage with a monkey. The screams from the cage confirmed it was Talo, Link knew that obnoxious voice anywhere. Talo and the monkey were in a cage that was at the entrance of the Forest Temple, which happen to be a huge tree. Link ran up to save the kid but was assaulted by some more goblins. Quickly taking care of them, Link freed the monkey and the kid. Talo was still freaking out even thought he was free. what a weirdo.

On the way back, Talo stopped and turned to Link. "If you hadn't come, Link..."

"I know. Just don't do it again" Link folded his arms.

"Gee, me and that monkey would've gotten eaten, probably! She's actually a pretty nice gal, that monkey..." Talo smiled.

Link rolled his eyes. "bet she is."

"She tried to protect me, so we got captured together." The boy looked at the ground.

"uh huh" Link started walking.

"Um, Link."

"Hm?"

"You're not gonna mention this to my dad, are you? He's always telling me to never, EVER go into the Forest, 'cause he says it's dangerous... So you really can't tell him. Really! You have to Promise!"

"Sure, sure. now stop bugging me."

Talo had a huge grin on his face as he ran past. Link smirked and rolled his eyes again. As soon as the kid leaves, Rusl walks up and smiles at him.

"My son told me Talo disappeared into the woods and had not returned. I came as soon as I heard but it looks like you have brought him home already." Rusl said.

Link quickly nodded. _nah duh._

"I apologize. Such a task should not fall to you." The older man said.

Link did as before. _and neither does going to Hyrule but guess what?! I'm still going to have to go._

"Tell me, have you noticed how strange this woods seems lately? I feel... uneasy about what may lie in wait... Anyway Link, Tomorrow is finally the day. You will be departing for Hyrule. I think it is a good thing I have given this task to you..."

"Yeah" Link half smiled. "good thing..."

"Good luck and return safely! If you are lucky your may even get to meet Princess Zelda! Ahahaha!" Rusl laughed.

"Uh yeah. Well i got to go... Home... so i can sleep. bye!" Link walked off. _Yeah, like i want to see some Princess Bitch._

_xxXXxx_

_That was fun. Review if you like!_


	3. Horse problems

**ok i took me for ever but i found my spiral that had my story in it! And then after that i found another spiral that had my story in it. Don't know how that happen but... **

**Chaper three**

It was around noon when Fado came to walk up Link in the ranches field.

"so, almost time for you to get goin', huh, Link?" Fado asked.

Link reluctantly opened his eyes to look at his friend. The bright sun burned his corneas and made him cringe. "Yeah, I guess so"

Fado sticks out his hand to help Link get up. Our lazy hero stares at the hand for a minute before grabbing it and pulling himself up. Damn was he tired.

"So how's about we finish up early today bud?" Fado poses.

Link nods his tired head and looks at the ground for the grass that calls Epona. It took him a second or two to realize it was behind him. He awkwardly scratches his head and turns around and picks up the grass and blows.

Soon Epona shows up galloping to her master. Link petted her mane and climbed on.

"come on Epona. We have work to do."

Grabbing the reins Link guided his fathful horse towards the goats. He brings her to a all out sprint at one of the horned animals and evidently that pisses it off. The goat dodged Epona and came running at the horse. Link saw this and tried to maneuver her out of the way but the goat as quick and rammed her. Link then saw his life flash before his eyes because he found himself flying about fifteen feet in the air and he was coming down head first.

The crash landing wasn't as bad as Link thought. He didn't brake his neck, just got a face full of dirt. What was bad was what happened after the landing. Link curled up in a little ball when the revenge seeking goat came and tried to stamp him in to the ground.

Link covered his head with his arms, so he could protect it from the hooves that were trying to crush his skull.

After the whole episode with the goat, Link herded the rest in and limped the to ranch gates where Fado waited for him.

"Well, that about wrap's 'er up for today!" Fado excitedly slaps a arm around Links shoulder. The hurt hero winced, that was one seriously irate goat. _About wraps it up my ass! Where the hell were you as I got my ass handed to me by a goat?!_

"so how's about y'all head on over to the mayor's place?" Fado says.

"I'm going…" Link takes hold of Epona's reins and drags her down the hill to the mayor's house.

Our hero heads down the hill that leads to the village. As he nears the Mayor Bo's house, his is met by Ilia. The look on her face was like a kid who just caught Santa Claus. It really freaked Link out as she came up to him all eager to pet Epona.

"well, nice work" The mayor of the village says sprightly.

Link hopped off his steed. Ilia grabbed the reins and started to cuddle the pampered horse.

The strapping mayor Bo roughly grasped the hero around the shoulders.

Link awkwardly smiled, "all in a days work."

Bo exuberantly shook Link a bit, "The Royal gift Rusl told you about is ready, so you should get ready for your trip to Hyrule Castle." The mayor suddenly went from jubilant to frank. "Now, the Royal Family requested this gift specifically, so it's real special. It'd be… bad… if the representative of Ordon were to be late for such an occasion, you get me, lad?"

Link shook his head up and down. The kind looking mayor dug his fingers in the scared hero's shoulder when he said 'you get me, lad?'. Now Link has never seen this side of the mayor Bo. He has always seen him smiling and happy. At this moment, the mayor had a solemn expression. Maybe the mayor is bi-polar.

Behind the two men, Ilia has been talking to the horse. Something about 'my sweet horse' and 'the path before you is a long one'. The dainty girl is still petting Epona when she sees something wrong with her leg. "Wait. What's this?"

Bo and Link turn around and set there attention on the now wrathful girl.

"what's happened? She's injured, isn't she?" Ilia's face was fuming. Link started to take small steps back. When Ilia gets into one of her moods its best to get the hell away.

"uh," was all the scared shitless hero could say before she jumped down his throat.

"Link! How could you! You were pushing Epona too hard again! I bet you hurt her leg jumping fences, didn't you!" Ilia was now advancing toward the boy.

Link backed up. "I blame Fado. He keeps wanting me to-"

"now Ilia.." mayor Bo started to say after he cut Link off.

"How can you be so easy on him? You're the MAYOR! You should start acting like one" The girl scolded her father. She could have had the pits of hell behind her it would have looked natural.

Link knew what was coming. She was going to smack him like no tomorrow.

_God, I hate when she's on her period._

Link waited for the face breaking blow that never came. He had his head down and eyes closed. Nothing hit him, which was odd. Last time Epona got rubbed a bit by the saddle, it wasn't that bad at all. The horse's skin was just a little red, but Ilia went crazy and beat him with the saddle.

Link hesitantly took a side glance at the Mayor beside him. The burly man did the same. Then they both watched Ilia leave with there mouths ajar.

"you poor thing" Ilia grabbed the reins and led the horse off. "It'll be all right, Epona. I'll talk you to the forest spring right now."

"w-wait! Ilia!" Ilia's father yells but his yell apparently didn't work. "why without Epona…the gift won't get delivered in time!" Bo gazed at Link. "Oh this won't do."

Link stared right back. " oh well I guess I can't go"

Bo's gaze turned hostile.

"Uh.. I'll just," Our scared Hero back away from the Mayor. "go. Get her."

Link ran to the spring.

**its short sorry.... **


	4. Kids

_Thanks for the review. I got like three fans! I'm so happy! Oh and I don't own anything… _

**Chapter 4**

"I can't believe I have to go get Epona." Link huffed. Our brave hero was on his way to the Spirits Spring that what near his humble home. "This is crap."

He makes his way to the gate that signifies the entrance of the village. Now how was he going to get his trusty steed? Ilia wasn't just going to hand the horse over. No, that would be to easy. She was most likely going to drown him!

"Link" colin looked up at our hero in shyness. "are you going to see Ilia?"

"yeah" Link drawled out his answer.

The boy looked at the ground and rubbed his foot in the ground. "maybe its just me…"

Link rolled his eyes. _I'm pretty sure its just you_

"but those guys don't normally let people through…" the sad boy looked back at the 'guys', who were the baby Malo and his older brother Talo. "um, Link, you think…"

_I swear to god! Spit it out! _Link wanted nothing more than to shake the boy.

"you think we can go to see Ilia together?" he finally said

The annoyed Link stared blankly at colin. Then just walked passed him, didn't even say word. Link decided he would ignore the kid until he hit puberty or something. He had to much to take care of as it is.

Our young hero walked straight to the brothers and noticed that colin had followed him.

Oh well, he could follow if he wanted. Link didn't care, he just kept going.

"Hey!" Talo quickly cut in front of Link. "we've been waiting for you, y'know, Link."

Malo hurried to stand next to his brother. "Yesterday was soooo much fun! Yeah, chasing that monkey was great!"

Talo, hearing was his brother said, puffed out his chest. "I was just telling Malo here about how we wanted to show it to him, but we let it go instead." It seems his ego inflated larger.

The younger brother looked at the older sibling with a skeptical glance. "oh, you didn't get caught, Talo?"

Ego boy swiftly changed the subject and glared straight at colin and sneered, "oh, colin. Way to spoil everything by telling your dad, nice job."

The littler on continued on, "yeah, thanks a lot! We got scolded by our dad something awful. I thought it was never going to end…"

Link stared at the boys with a bored look. Blah blah blah. He moved to step past them but was cut off yet again.

"I bet you're trying to go see Ilia, aren't you?" the boy with the ego put his hands on his hips. "well, there's no way I'm going to let you pass!"

"kid" Link said. This was seriously pissing him off. "I'm bigger than you so-"

Talo completely ignored Link and saw his wooden sword. "oh hey neat! Link! Lemme borrow that sword!" The kid swung his arms about acting like he had a sword. "if I'd had that wooden sword yesterday, I could've handled it all alone, definitely!"

"no" was all Link blatantly and stepped around the boys again. Link's third attempt was not his lucky one. Talo and Malo hopped right in front of him again.

"C'mon!" Talo hopped up in down. "let me borrow that wooden sword right now!"

All Link wanted to do was go home. Screw the sword. His horse. That dumb princess. He had to much on his plate and this made him a bit livid. But he had to calm down, they were just kid. Kids who were horrid little demons.

"sorry kid" Link had to cut down what he was really going say. It was a little inappropriate.

The look on Talo's face made Link want to twitch. It was the look of determination. Damn.

"What?! Why not? Its ok! Just lemme borrow it!" Talo whined.

"not on your life" Link growled. Was this kid going to get the idea. No was no.

"Look," Talo tried to portray seriousness. "we're never gonna let you leave here until you tell us we can borrow that wooden sword right now!"

Who did he think he was? Link was two feet taller than him. He could step over him or punt him across the forest. Link liked the latter. He liked it a lot.

Talo and Malo stood defiantly. They were determined to get the sword and Link was going to give it got them.

Link stood there a minute looking at Talo. "That's it." A smile came across his lips as he slowly pulled out the sword.

Talo gave our hero a odd look. "uh.. Link wha-"

Talo never got to finish that sentence because our pissed off hero smacked him a good one in the face. You could hear his jaw break.

Then he proceded to beat Talo's head in until nothing was left.

Don't think Link forgot about the other two. Malo tripped and colin was frozen in fear so the to were easy to get rid of.

Now he had only one problem. He had three dead bodies to hide. He also forgot beth was there so she already ran back to the village. Great, now everyone had to die and-

"are you gonna give it to us?" Talo's voice pulls link out of his daydream.

Damn it wasn't

_Yay! I finally got another chapter out… _


	5. The Spring

Chapter 5

After thirty minutes of saying no to Talo, Link gave in and handed the stick over to him.

"Whoa! YESSS!" Talo hopped up and down waving his arms and the wooden sword in the air. He looked to his younger brother, "With this thing I'll show'em!"

Our hero watched the two boys run off and fight an inanimate object. He just wasted so much time with them. It was official, Link was not going to have kids.

_What retards. _

Link turned away from Talo screaming at the scarecrow thing.

"Link."

He looks down at Colin like he wants to backhand the kid. "what?"

The boy smiles, "Thanks... Those guys are always teasing me..."

Hero stared at him blankly as he continued. _I would make fun of you to if I was your age..._

"What's so fun about swinging something like that around anyway? I hate it... It's scary... but when I grow up, I'm gonna be just like you, Link!"

Link was tempted to laugh but held it in. He had to make sure he didn't piss off Rusl, he might get another job. "whatever"

Colin looked right in Links eyes, "I don't want to learn about swords or anything, but could you teach me how to ride a horse sometime?"

"Uh" Link scratched his head. "well you see I'm going to be busy and-"

"Can you? You have to Promise!" The boy who might possibly be gay put his hands together. Not that Link had a problem with someone who had an interest with the same sex. He just didn't swing that way.

"If I have time" Was all he said and the boy smiled and ran off in the direction of the spring.

_God I hate kids_

Link followed Colin into the forest. Soon he reached the spring deep in the forest. He followed the path past the squirrels that were frolicking around. Link made a mental note to pop them with his sling shot.

He walks up the gate of the spring only to find it closed. Seeing Colin in there watching Ilia like some kind of stalker, Link came up to the gate, "Hey Kid"

The kid quickly turned around, "Link!"

Ilia heard the little loudmouth and turned away from Epona, "If you came to take Epona back, you can FORGET it! Why don't you think about what you've done for a change!"

Link sarcastically yelled back, "Yes mother!"

The young girl glared at our hero, "I won't open the gate until you change your attitude!"

Our angry Hero quietly whispered, "Bitch." What right did she have to take his horse and lock the gate to a spring that was open to everyone? He had to get to the castle so he could give the gift to Princess whats her face and then get home and never venture outside again.

"Ilia you don't know what happened yesterday." Colin said quietly.

The boy turned back to Link, "Listen, I don't know if she'll listen to me, but let me try to explain about Talo and the Monkey, ok?"

Okay Link was starting to like this kid, he just might teach him how to ride a horse.

"You crawl in here through the tunnel in back while I do, Link." The Kid pointed to the right of him.

Link was for sure going to teach this kid how to ride a horse, maybe even get him a sandwich.

Our hero looked around the outside wall of the spring until he found a hole that was covered in moss. He crawled in and he came out hearing Ilia say "I had no idea... I hadn't heard the details about Talo's capture... But Colin.." She left a long pause.

Link came up and she turned away from Colin and went to grab Epona. The horse shook its head and Ilia couldn't grab the reins.

"So you still prefer your master over me, huh, Epona?" Ilia said

Link crossed his arms. _I raised her. She better love me more that you._

She had a sad look on her face. "Don't worry about your horse, Link. Fortunately, it looks like the injury isn't too serious. You two can go on together."

"Thank you" Link uncrossed his arms. _Always trying to control me! I'm a man dammit!_

Our not as angry as he was earlier hero reached for his horses reins but was stopped by Ilia's voice.

"But Link... Can you at least promise me this?"

"Depends."

She sighs, "No matter what happens on your journey, don't try do anything... out of your league. Please."

"Look," Link grabbed the reins, "I'm just going to deliver something to the castle and thats it. It is to be hoped that you didn't just jinx me and I have to go on some side quest to save people that I don't know nor care for."

"Just come home safely."

Our young hero nods his head, and then Ilia's Jinx comes into affect. He hadn't even left yet and something bad happens.

A huge ox pig thing breaks down the gate. Epona freaks out, rears up on her hind legs and almost take out Link. The Bulbin's riding the huge animals shot Ilia with an arrow and as Link turns around to help her another Bulbin comes in and gives Link a thump on the head. Links out like a light and the ugly Bulbin are gathering Ilia and Colin. Then Chief Ugly blows a black horn that makes a horrid sound that echos though the air.

Some type of black and red portal opens and they leave.

Link suddenly wakes up and franticly looks around, "Fuck!" He is up and on his feet sprinting out of the spring past the broken gate.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! _Our Hero runs down the path past the bridge and comes to and abrupt halt. He stares up at the black wall with white markings that is blocking his path. Link was pretty sure that this thing wasn't here before. He was damn sure.

Our brave hero walked up to the wall with intentions to touching it, but a huge dark claw came thrusting out of the blackness and closed around him.

Link let out a manly yell and was pulled in.

He came face to face with some type of monster. It had a flat head and tentacles for dreadlocks. With Link cringing away, the monster tried to get a better look but chunked him away. The glowing triforce on his hand blinded and hurt the beast.

Link landed in pain, in fact his whole body was jolting with it. His breathing slowed down, he could hear his heart beat loudly in his ears. Then the pain became so overwhelming he let out a scream and blacked out.


End file.
